it's 5:00 but still feels like morning

the first time i fell in love i was very young. i remember moments when i felt so in love i just wanted to say it out loud. i wanted to tell him. but i couldn't. i couldn't say the words, "i love you."

later i began saying it too often without even realizing i wasn't hearing it in return. if he was holding back i'll never know. he never told me.

**image taken from my favorite blog le love**

Most 'Played'

Most 'Played.' Nope, not talking about myself although I probably could take that title as well. I'm referring to the #1 song on my ipod, My Time by Minus the Bear. When Jake Snider sings the chorus, I thought he was saying, "I got you on my side." I absolutely loved that line. I just thought it was the sweetest lyric. But as it turns out he says, "I got you on my time" (hence the title) and the song is not about love but (whisper) S-E-X! I must say it was a disappointing discovery. Thinking Minus the Bear is going to be Minus a Jessica pretty soon. I need a new jammer. Suggestions?

Indian Summer Romance

If it shines like Spring and feels like Spring in the middle of October you are experiencing Indian Summer. After a few weeks of temperatures in the frigid 50's, terrible rain, changing leaves, and blistering winds suddenly mother nature offers a much needed respite. As wonderful as the moment is, we all know it won't last. Just like that little summer romance you knew would break your heart. So perhaps an Indian Summer Romance is the answer?

Do you suffer from FOMO?

One of my best friends Matty can always be counted on for some hilarious one-liners. Today was another classic. As we quickly played catch up outside of Cafe Gitane Matty jokes, "big night last night, huh?" "No!" I reply. "Yeah right!!" he laughs. "No seriously, I stayed in" I insist. "Well you don't suffer from FOMO," he says. "FOMO? What's FOMO?" I ask. "Fear of Missing Out" he explains.

While choosing my bed over the incessant siren song of Saturday night is not very common for me, I also am fully aware that it will all be there tomorrow. And the day after that and the day after that. PLUS if you stay away long enough it eventually comes looking for you.

"Respect the Source"

When my sister was just a little baby girl she could not stand closed doors! If there was a closed door anywhere in our house Karla would find it, sit outside the door throwing an absolute tantrum until you opened it. Once allowed access to whatever it was you dare withhold from her she then promptly slammed the door in your face.

This prickly little princess grew up to be the kind of daredevil I watched surf a wave the height of a skyscraper in Costa Rica, the shy girl who thinks I'm the only one who knows how funny she is, the kind of sister who would probably punch you in the face if you looked at me cross eyed, the kind of tomboy who still plays rec soccer in the rain beloved by all her teammates, an eternal til the day she dies daddy's girl, the kind of woman who will marry on the beach barefoot and who I cannot wait to watch become a mother. She is my partner in crime, my better half, my whole heart.

Happy Birthday, Ku! I love you!
Thank god mom and dad found you behind that rock ;)

wherefore art thou?

While in Venice Simone told me the story of the Ponte die Sospiri which means Bridge of Sighs. He told me it got its name because long ago a fair maiden would wait atop the bridge for her love to return from sea. Daily she would stand looking out to port releasing sighs of longing and loneliness as audible as the fog is thick. Now, if you were to Wikipedia this Venetian bridge you will find a very different story. So whether it is the true story or a tale perpetuated by clever Italian men to get girls in bed, I don't know. But, to be honest, I don't care. I prefer the romance.

I often find myself atop my own metaphoric bridge. Waiting and sighing wondering if absence makes the heart grow fonder or if the old adage out of sight out of mind is true?