Come Spring

"You can't say to the Spring: 'Come now and last as long as possible.' You can only say: 'Come and bless me with your hope, and stay as long as you can.'"

Paulo Coelho

L'CHAIM

We all sat around the table, a few orphans amongst family. But, we were made to feel like family (and real Jews besides my blatant wearing of cross earrings (joke creds-Bar)) by our friend and gracious host, Orly. We read the story of Passover from the Haggadah, laughing and learning simultaneously. The story ends and is punctuated with a lovely speech by our host. She tells us how Passover is the most happy of the Jewish holidays and carries a message that is for all. This is because at any point in our lives we have all felt oppressed in some way, whether it be by work, relationships, family, ect. Jews are told to go forth from this day as if out of slavery like their ancestors. So the message: live live live! Or as the youngest son, Tomer, summarized when asked the meaning of Passover, "freedom and Jews!"

maintenance is insincere

we had an instant connection
or was it timing?

we used to only meet at night
now we only meet by day

you send me kisses
but you couldn't recognize my face

you say you love me
but i realize you say that to everyone

we survive on maintenance
just enough to remain above water

but i don't want your maintenance
maintenance is insincere

i rather remember the way we were
perhaps one day we'll return

I want ?

So we've figured out what we don't want. But how the fuck do we find out what we DO want? Or more to the point, what's worth fighting for?

le mademoiselle & the magician

I once heard a man say, "when meeting a woman you should never show up empty handed." My friend, a student of the school of charm and seduction although if you were to ask him he would say he was a master, must have heard of this trick. As Corrine (my most poshly french friend) and I sipped wine and chatted to the very cute bartender at the Soho Grand, the third member of our party arrived. He greeted and offered us each a gift, two adorably wrapped dark chocolate Easter bunnies. "They're for Easter," he said proudly with a boyish smile, "since I won't be here." And with that, he opened the door. Another glass of wine, some palm reading, joke telling and he had won over the french girl, which we all know is no small task.



What could be next for this magician/dj? I'm going to guess moon landing or at least walking on water.

"life moves pretty fast if you don't stop and look around once in a while you could miss it"

Sunday night I watched The September Issue with a friend. Very quickly you notice that Grace Coddington is the true spirit behind Vogue. In one scene, as she drives around Paris being chauffeured to the couture shows, she recalls what a mentor once told her. He said "when you're driving never fall asleep because as you look out the window inspiration could hit you. It's everywhere." I feel that way constantly, especially in New York. Sunday afternoon I took part in the exercise by sitting on a stoop besides my local Pain Quotien on Grand and Greene. People from all walks of life passed-children, tourists, dogs, families, artists, models. They all shuffled by, in what seemed like silent slow motion to me, as I sipped my coffee and listened to melancholy tunes. I felt like a flower being watered by the sunlight and growing stronger through the energy of the streets. I realized time waits for no man, life goes on and there's nothing faster than a New York minute.

I just wanna shake my ass!

Today has been the most ammmaaaazzzzing day! I feel electric with positivity and energy. Perhaps it's the weather, 8 hrs sleep, the coffee but by the time I arrived at the gym I was on fire. Good thing since today is my most rigorous gym day. I enter an empty locker room and Single Ladies hits my sound waves. I bust into full Beyonce choreography-fist pumping , booty shaking and all with the music playing so loudly I would have no hope of stopping before being caught. Suddenly, the cleaning lady is right beside me, probably watching for the past 30 seconds. We burst out laughing. Normally, I would be humiliated but today it's all good. That was the most fun I've had in a long time. Think it's time to go dancing tonight where this kind of behavior is more socially acceptable.

Got it on repeat couldn't care less if it's played out! It makes me run so fast!

je meurs aller

As I am unable to go to Paris at the moment, I'm always on the hunt for pieces of it in New York. You can be transported just about anywhere in New York city, one of the many perks of living here. I've been to just about every little french bistro the city has to offer. Luckily, a new one has just opened and in one of my favorite neighborhoods, Nolita. Tartinery was opened by three french imports, in order to cater to the serious lack of authentic Parisian tartines, (a sort of open-face sandwich served on razor-thin slices of French bread) and those who crave them.

In addition to this rare treat, Tartinery caters to lovers. It boasts one of the most romantic settings in the city with perfectly dim lighting, french music, live foliage and a menu made for sharing. Now, to find an obliging man who will join me.

Tartinery
209 Mulberry St
(at Spring St)
New York, NY 10012
212-300-5838

Call me, guurrlll!

Girlfriends are necessary when one is a singleton. Now, that Chelsea is also recently single, I am even more convinced we are destined for best-friendhood!

timechangemindchange

I awoke this morning at 5:00 AM but it was actually 4:00 AM.
I arrived at 6:08 but it was really 5:08.
I climbed the stairs and looked across to the park as I always do.
It was completely dark and in that moment I recalled that lost hour.
I missed that precious hour.
I missed it because each morning it paints a red border of light across the sky and through the trees.
The light that always makes my tired burning eyes smile.

Everything and Nothing

Rain for two straight days, after such lovely weather, is quite a bummer. What does one do for entertainment? We chose the Moma, just like every other New Yorker and tourist in the city. Despite the crowd and soggy clothes, we had a wonderful day soaking (pun intended) in the arts and wine in the cafeteria.

As much of a cynic as we may like to be, there is something about a building full of people's visions created and displayed to please, provoke and ponder, which is completely transcendent. It is simply good for the soul. We went there specifically to see the Tim Burton exhibit but we found ourselves creating the art ourselves. One interesting performance exhibit, of a woman sitting at a table, called the Artist is Present attracted much attention. She invited anyone to sit across from her. The art was of nothing, which she claimed to be everything. The art, she explained, was not what she did but what you perceived of her action or inaction. Her art was not the performance but what we derived from the performance. Although, I did not truly see the full value in this glorified starring contest, I did find other projects to partake in, where I created and appreciated art. I felt re-born crawling out of this netted "womb" created by Ernesto Neto.

a way of being together

When I had nothing to lose, I had everything. When I stopped being who I am, I found myself.

-An excerpt from the book I'm currently reading, Eleven Minutes, by Paulo Coehlo. My cousin who passed was a huge fan of his. In fact, she named her son after the one of his title character's, Zahir. My sisters and aunt, Maria's mother, have decided to start a Coelho book club in her honor. We all read one and get together and discuss it. It's a lovely way of still being with her. And she's teaching me through his words.

Welcome to the Jungle

When you live in New York, there is no need for a license. I have gone over 2 years without a physical license and today was forced to rectify! Government offices, such as the DMV, make you so sad for the state of humanity. How much joy can one person possibly derive from being so unhelpful? Are we all this miserable?


If not for the threat of having to re-test, I would have avoided forever! Despite my thorough preparation, I was banished to the Regional DMV in my home state of New Jersey. But this was not just New Jersey, it was Newark. I hopped a bus and as we crossed the tunnel I began to convince myself it was not going to be so bad. As I stepped off the bus onto Frelinghuysen Ave, I felt like a mouse in a snake pen. I practically ran four ghetto jungle blocks to the DMV. I think I was actually trembling. The DMV looked like the school in Lean On Me. I think I actually heard Aerosmith's Welcome to the Jungle. Grateful to at least be inside, I am then greeted by a gum smacking orange haired woman who told me it would be a 4 hour wait! As I sat and waited I could not believe the state of existence that surrounded me-the language, the dress, the poverty and crime. Newark made Naples look like Belair! But, then I met someone. A wonderful young woman named, Siobhan, who showed me pictures of her beautiful daughter and really impressed me with her story. She made the hours fly. We've decided to keep in touch and start some sort of out reach program to encourage the empowerment of young women.

So, aprox. $200, one trip to Newark, 3 state departments, 8 hours, 3 buses rides, and 1 glorious train back home, I am a licensed New York State driver! Whoop whoop!

Damn Right

Jessica, you seem different, he said to me.
Really? How?
Yeah, like...powerful.

I'm so glad someone finally noticed! ;)

bijouterie

I've been thinking about updating my accessories. Perhaps, I'll pass on my bunch of bangles, for something more chic but STILL layered, ala Parisian Fashion Week.

because it's my nature

Every time someone asks me what sign I am, I get the same reaction. Something usually to the effect of, "Oh no! You're dangerous." The same happened last night while having drinks at Schiller's with friends in town from Italy. As I begin to negate this half truth about myself, Ernesto tells me an old Italian fable. It goes like this:

A tortoise and a scorpion stand on one side of a river.
The scorpion asks the tortoise to help him cross the river.
He explains "I need to cross but I can't swim."
The tortoise agrees and allows the scorpion to hop on his back.
They cross the river and as they reach half way,
the scorpion stabs the tortoise in the back.
The tortoise, shocked and in pain, asks "why did you stab me?"
The scorpion replies, "because it's my nature."

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I walked past a couple today. They kissed passionately in broad daylight on the busy street corner of Broadway and Spring. I smiled and thought how much I missed that.

But, desire is not what you see, but what you imagine, literally and figuratively. So perhaps the relationship I imagine does not exist? You can find an inexplicable connection, have incredible passion but no understanding. Or find a best friend and complete understanding but no spark. I suppose what we ultimately choose depends on what we can't live without. Who knows? At this point, I would settle for good sex and a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

A Mysterious Mystery

"so what's up with them? are they doing better?"
"no i think they're not going to make it, she says he's too boring and never wants to do anything with her..."

Why is that once men enter a relationship they become completely boring? At first, it's all about spontaneity and charm. He loves your laugh, your passion, your fire. You are constantly going here and there. You take each other to your favorite places until those places become your places and routine settles in. The nesting phase is lovely until it becomes redundant and lazy. Suddenly, you have a man who only wants to eat in, won't change out of the same sweatpants, and hates your friends. The bloom fades from the rose. He now finds your cute laugh to be an annoying cackle, your youth is immaturity and your complete lack of tolerance for alcohol is labeled a problem. Soon, you fall apart.


It won't be long until you find him a changed man, though. While you take to hibernating, obsessing, tears and CONSTANTLY talking about the other person, they are off and running! His facebook/twitter status changes by the minute boasting of a sexy life of clubbing in Paris, skiing every weekend, dinner parties, no sleep and new fb friendships with skanky-looking girls left and right. He is never alone, never at home and being the man you wished he could have been when you were together. He becomes the man you fell in love with again, not the man he was in the end.

This is because for many men there is no middle ground. Monogamy is unnatural; men were created to spread the seed. Relationships are a choice. It is not a continuation of themselves, it is an arrival. They adopt specific behavior and mimic what they believe is appropriate for a couple. Hence, you must also change, abandon your "single" behavior and become a "couple." The problem is this is perceived as a sacrifice and the pressure is exhausting.

Can't we all just get along?

**Above image taken from one of my favorite blogs Purple Diary**

Wings of Love

Have you seen this new show called the Marriage Ref? Where you're suppossed to get marriage advice from celebrities such as, Alec Baldwin?! Anyhow, the premier began with a Seinfeld-esque comedian/host who complained that people should stop looking for their soulmate and settle for someone who they get along with. "Find someone who doesn't make you want to throw up; who you can sleep beside without wanting to punch." How romantic! Not only was the skit not very good, it made me so sad for the state of love and marriage.


Cut to the Bachelor finale last night. Granted these couples never last and it's just a show but somehow I believe these crazies really do fall under some kind of spell. They are seduced by the competition and all the producer-made magic or as they call it, love. I call it helicopter rides in St Barts and swimming under water-falls.

This season introduced us to the lamest and most god fearing Bachelor in history. Despite his eagerness to elimi-date ladies by the handful that he could not imagine as his wife, he ultimately chose the biggest trick of them all! At the end of the day all his preaching about finding the perfect wife and mother to his children was bullshit. He had her and he chose the wild card. Why? Passion, physicality...an inexplicable connection which just proves my theory. It has nothing to do with compatibility, who your family loves, how perfect they are for you-none of that matters. Love is all about guts and a feeling no one can explain although we all know when it appears. There is no logic, no reasoning. In fact, the greatest loves are completely illogical. But, we are talking about the Bachelor, so they're probably already broken up. Besides everyone knows he should have picked Gia anyway. It only lasts a few months so you might as well go with the hottest one, no?!